When I was a preteen, I remember this Australian guest speaker came to our church, he was an older gentleman who actually spoke English lol, that’s probably why he stands out to me so much. All the sermons I heard growing up were in Russian, they were hard to comprehend and relate too. So this particular gentleman made a big impact. He talked about the Holy Spirit and having a relationship with him, something I don’t think I’ve heard before that moment. I don’t even remember the entirety of the message other than what he shared, about including the Holy Spirit in every decisions of life, from the most important things, down to what clothes to wear every day (to some that might actually be very important but I’m sure you get the idea).
That evening after he spoke at our church, everyone got together at the house he was staying, (Slavik’s and their love for fellowship lol). He came into the room and apologized that he wouldn’t be able to join everyone. He said he woke up at 4 or 5 in the morning to spend time with the Lord, so that meant he needed to get to bed early to make sure he got his rest. I watched how this man prioritized his time with the Lord above enjoying himself and pleasing others. Not compromising because he was out doing “ministry”. He mentioned that he read through the Bible every three months, someone asked him if he ever got bored reading the same thing so often, his answer was “it’s not like that at all but quite the opposite, where you fall in love with it more and more every time”. That encouraged me to always continue reading my Bible now matter how I felt about it.
On his last night there he shared a story, that stuck with me for life and has taught me to have that kind of relationship with the Lord for myself. When he flew in, he discovered that his credit card was missing. He looked everywhere, and couldn’t find it, so he decided to call to disconnect the card but the Holy Spirit told him not to. He obeyed and did not disconnect the card. On the last day there he went to put on his traveling clothes and what do you know, the card came falling out of the pant leg! Somehow it must have gotten misplaced and wasn’t lost or stolen after all. He of course was relieved to find it and grateful he obeyed the Holy Spirit. I can imagine that most of us would have done the natural thing and panicked, when in reality all we would need to do, is check in with the Holy Spirit. That story marked me for life. I began to practice checking in with the Holy Spirit as a pre teen, then my teen years and into my adult life. It seems so natural for me now to live this way, that it surprises me when I realize not everyone does. Or when I catch myself forgetting to (that does happen). Feels to me like, life would be so much more difficult without the daily guidance and connection of the Holy Spirit. I should clarify though, that this level of intimacy with the Lord is something that needs to be maintained just like with any relationship. It’s an ongoing choice to prioritize time and obedience to the Holy Spirit. People have told me that Spiritual discipline is difficult but in my opinion and from my experience, living without intimacy, peace, faith and all the benefits of heaven on earth are far more difficult!
**As I was editing this draft in the parking lot of our church, sitting in my car, while my older kids were at youth. My middle son called me, he was very quiet and slightly trembling. I wasn’t sure if he was just calling because he was bored or if he needed something important. I asked him what the reason for the call was and all he could muster out was “the paramedics are coming mom” I asked questions and finally got out of him that my youngest son had hit his head and was bleeding profusely. He told me that dad had him call 911 and how scary it all was for them. I told him I was heading home immediately but he still hung on the phone, so I asked him if he wanted me to pray with him and he said “yes please”. As I began praying the realization of the situation began to hit me, I knew this was serious but I also was upset with the devil, because how could he even attempt to hurt anyone in my family. The scripture from Isaiah 54:17 came to mind “no weapon formed against you shall prosper”. I stood on that verse and declared that non of the enemies plans or weapons are going to prosper. I declared truth over my son and the situation and then the peace, that surpasses understanding filled me and I knew everything was going to be ok. I got home just a few minutes after the ambulance had arrived, they inspected him and said he was going to be alright. When I came in to see my little guy, I could tell he lost blood, his face was ghostly white and he still had blood all over his head, face and clothes. He was happy to see me and began sharing with me all the details of how and what happened. I asked my husband (since I don’t do blood) to shower him while I got myself ready to take care of him for the night. My little guy came out of the shower, refreshed and back to his normal self. He began to play toys to process the event. (Fun fact from my motherly observations, is that kids process intense or traumatic things through repeatedly talking about them or zoning out and playing). The older kids (all but one lol if you know who, you know) got really shaken up by what happened. We talked through it quite a bit to help them process and reduce the trauma. Looking back I am proud to say that, we passed the test! My son who called 911 trembling, did great under pressure answering all the questions. His twin sister did great running around and getting everything my husband needed to stop the bleeding etc. When I got home with my older kids, my older daughter jumped on cleaning all the blood out of the carpet, everyone pitched in and the evening went smoothly. The next day we all eagerly continued our “God wants you well” series on YouTube by Andrew Wommack. Because we all realized that you never know when your faith will be tested. Either for one of your own or someone around us. God has given us all what we need to live, like “more than conquerers” and in order to know how, and to not allow the weapons of the enemy to prosper, we have to be trained. The main way to do that is through the word of God and godly teachings that can teach us how. My current go to’s are Andrew Womack and Faith Talks with Emily Preston on the podcasts app. But there are so many more out there available for living this way. If you’re interested let me know through a DM and I’ll be happy to share!**
I usually hesitate to share my faith journey because I feel like I have to arrive to a certain level, before I am “qualified” to do so. But what I have been realizing lately, is just like in all things, we really don’t ever “arrive”. We are continuously going through seasons and growing in life. There is so much beauty in that! That means there is no way, our relationship with the Lord could ever grow stale.
The next few things that come to mind are examples I witnessed that shaped me. My parents as long as I could remember got up at five in the morning and prayed for at least an hour before waking us up for school. I will be honest, as a kid that “alarm clock” wasn’t always what I wanted to hear but looking back it brings so much comfort knowing they prioritized that time with the Lord. They prayed for us as kids, for our futures and our future spouses. I also saw them reading the Bible every morning along with different kinds of books. They took time to stay in the word and to grow themselves as individuals.
Speaking of books one that impacted me greatly as a teen was pastor Jentezen Franklin’s book on fasting. My parents and our church fasted regularly, it was so normal for me growing up that when I became pregnant, I remember having to go through some things with the Lord and he had to assure me, that it was ok to not be in the fasting season for a while.
Worship was a huge theme in my teen years. I honestly always thought God called me to lead worship in one way or another. I was part of our church worship team all through my teen years but then I “grew up” and realized, that I’m not all that musically inclined or gifted lol, so I gave it up, publicly. Worship is still a huge part of my life, after my quiet time with the Lord in the mornings, it’s “worship until your breakthrough” as one song says. That’s what I did when I thought I was done with my marriage, that combined with fasting and prayer. Worship, prayer and the word of God is what I did before I had my supernatural childbirth with my twins. Those disciplines are what kept my family together when Kyle went through difficult seasons in his life. Without God, his word, worshipping and praying until I felt peace, I (we) would not be here or who we are today.
I started speaking confessions over myself and my family about half a year ago and I am amazed at how much growth and changes I see so far!
One way I was taught to pray is in the spirit or in tongues. I believe I got baptized with the filling of the Holy Spirit, when that one gentleman I told you about earlier, prayed for all of us pre teens, the first night he spoke. I didn’t exactly have the courage to actually pray in tongues right away. Here too I thought somehow it would be a supernatural occurrence and that something would come over me and do the work for me. I guess that was my impression because of the stories I heard from others. But after some time of getting together with my friends and always convincing them to pray together (what I did for fun lol), one of them goes “I got it, I can pray in tongues now!” that got me slightly upset because I wanted to pray in tongues too. I knew I had the Holy Spirit and that tongues was a gift for everyone, so I began praying whatever would come out. I prayed in faith spent hours “practicing” every day and I still try to daily.
Discipline, commitment and perseverance, if I needed to summarize my walk with the Lord I think those are the three words I would use. Be disciplined every single day, with habits that bring you closer to him and grow your “faith muscles”. Stay committed even when you want to take the easy way, or go with the flow. Stay committed, to the Lord and where he calls you to be. Lastly persevere. Basically that means don’t ever give up. Knock and keep knocking, read his word to find the answers, truth and to know him more. Keep the faith even when things don’t make sense or turn out as planned or hoped for. Commit to being on this journey with the Lord for good.
What I have learned is that over time we will see the bigger picture. Take kids (or teenagers) for example, they don’t understand why we parents have certain rules or why we do things the way we do but as they get older and see more of the bigger picture, they are usually thankful for it. Same thing goes for our Heavenly Father, the more we trust him and stay at our relationship with him, the more we have those “aha” moments and can trust him even more.
That brings me to the question I’ve been pondering lately, am I filling my days with rocks or sand? My last analogy for today is the visual of a glass jar, representing our life. We have core things, visualize big rocks, that are most important to us in life. Family, God, friends, health, etc. and then there's pebbles, which could be work, hobbies, chores, school, and so on and then there is sand, which I would say is entertainment, scrolling, gaming, gossip, anything that’s just a “filler” in our day to day life.
We each have the same amount of time in a day with the same rocks, pebbles and sand. The question then is, what are we, throughout the day actually putting into our jar(life)? Is it the big rocks first, then the pebbles, then the extra space we fill with sand? Or do we first fill up on the sand, maybe throw in a few pebbles and then find out that the big rocks have no where to fit, by the end of the day? We might tell ourselves and believe the never ending lie, that tomorrow, I’ll do the big rocks first for sure.
Our habits are what truly tell us what it is that we are putting into our jars. It doesn’t matter what we think or tell ourselves or even what we tell others about our priorities, it’s what we actually do daily, that really reveals the truth. It’s called fruit. What we plant, cultivate, water and nourish every day is what determines what kind of fruit we produce. Want the fruit you’re growing or not it will be evident one day or another and you will either be grateful, thankful and beyond blessed with it or you will find yourself in the pits of despair wondering how in the world did my life end up here? Or you might think, I thought I believed this or that, but find out when “tested” that the results are not what you expected. So, if you want to harvest the fruit that you think you are growing, then take a moment right now and ask yourself what are your rocks, pebbles and sand? Are they going into the jar in the order you want them to be going in? If not then write yourself a list of priorities, adjust your time and day accordingly and make the changes you need to make to grow the results you want to see.
I tell myself and my kids in the mornings “work first play later”. (Unless it’s the Sabbath then you rest and enjoy all day because you worked all week for it! Right?) There’s something satisfying about a reward when you first work for it. Discipline is painful in the moment but never a regret later. The opposite is also true, pleasure first will often result in regret later. I heard someone once say, “choose your difficult”, living disciplined is hard but living without it is just as hard. (Working out is hard but so is being overweight. Being healthy isn’t easy but having medical issues and bills isn’t either. Saving money is difficult but so is being broke. Etc..)
We are each on a path every day leading to an ultimate destination, let's choose the “difficult” path, that will benefit us and those around us and not the one we wish we never took. We can do this!
Blessings, Natty
P.S. Even if you start small please start somewhere. Reach out if you would like extra support. DM me either on FB, IG or email and I’ll be happy to get back to you. Would love to hear from you! And thank you so much for those of you who have here supporting me all these years. I am so grateful for you! xxx